Hereford, TX

 So I recently spent 3 1/2 months living in Hereford, TX which I read somewhere that it was voted the worst place in the US to visit.  So, I started thinking about it, and, really, there are plenty of things to do in Hereford.  At least, there are plenty of places within reach of Hereford that are well-worth visiting.


First of all, if nothing else, Amarillo is an easy half-hour or so drive, and Amarillo features one of the most touristy and cliched place in all of Texas: THE BIG TEXAN!  Eat a 72-ounce steak, plus some sides (potato, salad, bread) all in one sitting, and you get it for free.  They even post you up at this little table in the center of the restaurant so that all the other patrons can watch you suffer in horrible agony (or perhaps enjoy 72 one-ounce bites of delicious steak, depending on your viewpoint).  A must-see for any Texas tourist...(some advice - don't try it unless you are SURE you can eat it, otherwise you pay for it by the pound).

Amarillo also has the equestrian quarter-horse museum, which is pretty interesting if you already have some kind of an interest in horses or equestrianism in the first place.  If not, skip it.


Next stop on the tour of Hereford's neighbors is Canyon, TX - home of the Palo Duro canyon.  Cousin to the Grand Canyon, this beautiful and rugged canyon is the second-largest canyon in the nation, and home to Texas: the musical, an outdoor show put on in the heart of the canyon.  Comes with a decent steak dinner for about fifty bucks a ticket (as of 2008).  The drive to Palo Duro is great because the land is 100% flat all the way up to it, then suddenly there's a massive canyon yawning off into the distance.  It's an incredible natural experience and well-worth the short drive from Amarillo or Hereford.

As we continue on our journey, I bring you to Cisco, TX, home of the very first Hilton Hotel.  I won't spoil the surprise, but the hotel does have a pretty interesting back story.  It's definitely worth a stop, though I don't think you can actually stay there as a guest overnight.  Also, the town has...a Subway...so that's good...

Whew!  If you're going to be there for awhile, and aren't making any stops further west, then it's definitely worth it to see the Carlsbad Caverns.  I warn you, it is about an 8-hour drive, but if that's the closest you'll get, then it is DEFINITELY worth it.  You may go your whole life without ever seeing anything as amazing.  Picture yourself traveling into the enormous gaping maw of the earth, stepping down into absolutely still, ancient-feeling air, sliding between rock walls less than one foot apart from one another, then passing into an open cavern the size of a cathedral that's over a mile below the surface, seeing darkness so total that you literally cannot tell if your eyes are open or not...incredible.  Also there's some off-roading if you are either a) fortuitous enough to have actually brought a jeep or b) brave enough to try it in your rented Toyota.  You can guess which category I fell into...

Plus, on your drive out to the caverns, you go through Roswell, New Mexico.  I'll admit, the closest I got to aliens was the Space Alien's Cafe, but they did have some pretty good margaritas so what the hell.  Just kidding, actually the restaurant I went to was called Pepper's Grill and Bar and it was  similar to a Chili's if you can believe that.

So there you go.  Hereford is one of the many rural destinations I have ended up in, and even though supposedly it was voted the #1 worst place to visit, I have to admit there were a lot of cool attractions within striking distance.  I've learned that anywhere can be a great place to stay if just explore the world around you.

Kilauea: a hawaiian volcano, a hawaiian experience

Would you rather be this close?



















Or THIS close?*















Sometimes, you have to bend the rules a little in order to experience what few others ever will. This is one of those times. Kilauea, an active volcano on Hawaii and one of the most active volcanoes in the world, is largely off limits to the public. Would you rather see it from a safe distance, or be close enough to feel the heat from the lava on your skin?

Kilauea is a guarded park that allows travelers to venture only to certain areas that have been determined to be "safe," e.g. lava-free. But you didn't go to Hawaii and visit Kilauea just to see already-hardened, fully-formed lava rock did you? Didn't think so.

So here's the deal: if you can handle it, wake up (or stay up) at (until) 3AM, then begin your trek to mount doom. One thing I would seriously recommend, one thing we did not do, is bring a flashlight or two. We used our cell phones to light our way through the night, an attempt (however successful) which was reckless and kinda stupid.

Regardless, once you are on Hwy 56, head towards the shore and towards Kilauea. As you get closer, you will see signs in your headlights warning you that the park is closed, it is very dangerous, you will be arrested, etc. They are all true and if you are scared away by these claims, turn around. Otherwise, drive past the signs and roadblocks and you can park all the way up here:

At this point, walking is your only option. If you are here on a weekday, you'll probably get the area to yourself; if you choose a saturday or sunday morning, chances are you'll run into company. Regardless, at this point your life will look like this:



The walking is treacherous and slow going. Also, it is pretty easy to get lost, but the rule of thumb is keep heading towards the pillar of smoke off in the distance, for that is formed from the lava flowing through the mountain and out into the sea.




Once you reach the shoreline, now is your chance to really take in the battle between Pele, Hawaiian goddess of fire, and her rival, the sea. The next few shots are from our perch directly in front of the "bench," or the area of land that is still being formed by Pele.** I'd recommend staying on your feet, because the lava produces "Pele's hair" or stands of fiberglass-like material formed when little chunks of lava are flung into the air and stretched into "hairs" by the cool air as it hardens. Sitting on it is a little like sitting in a nice bed of insulation - comfortable at the time, itchy as hell later.

Stay for a couple hours and watch the battle, bask in your awesomeness for having done something that very few people can claim to have done...But, do make sure you get out by about 7AM or your risk of getting arrested increases significantly. . .






























*Note that, for the record, I do not recommend breaking any rules or laws, nor do I recommend getting hurt or killed by actively flowing lava. It is extremely dangerous and unpredictable. If you plan on getting burned to death or otherwise maimed or destroyed, please do not travel outside of the legal boundaries of the park.

**Do NOT under any circumstances EVER climb down onto the bench unless you are ready to become a charred, unrecognizable mass of burnt flesh.